The Reality of “TRUST”

I had the honor of being asked by Millennium Entertainment to a screening of the upcoming movie “TRUST”, directed by David Schwimmer, and starring Clive Owens and Catherine Keener.  As the credits rolled at the end, I was left with a host of emotions from pain to sadness and with re-ignited memories of the Internet predators I had prosecuted as a federal prosecutor in the U.S. Department of Justice and the young girls whose lives they had destroyed forever.

And as I left the screening room, I kept thinking how much “TRUST” is true to life in the digital century and how much we as parents might not realize the truth about Internet predators.   We call them ‘Internet’ predators, but in fact, they are actual human beings intent on attacking a child in the real world.  The movie focuses carefully on the ‘grooming’ process where a predator meets an unsuspecting teenager online and slowly begins a friendship designed to break down her natural barriers and eventually grooms her into believing that she is truly in love with this person who is really not who he claims to be.

What was most telling about the thoughtful analysis that went into this movie is the fact that ‘Annie’ the 14-year-old victim was experiencing a series of events that put her at risk and, thus, at the mercy of a predator.  Her father was busy at work, her brother whom she had a special bond with was going away to college, her desire to be with a certain crowd wasn’t happening, and she was desperate to make it onto the volleyball team.  In fact, a child at risk in the physical world becomes at risk online.  Annie was such a child.  And, in essence, we saw how a perfect family with amazingly loving parents could fall prey to a predator, for when Annie was traumatized, so too was her family.

So, as a society we all need to know that this can happen to any of our families and we must work together to help our kids navigate safely in the digital world just like we have in the physical world for so many years.

I will talk about just what those calls to action are next time.  In the meantime, trust me, when I say that “TRUST” is true to life in the digital century.

Visit the official TRUST blog site where this blog is also posted.

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“TRUST” and the Despicable Art of Grooming

The subject of online predators is not one that many of us want to dwell on or even talk about.  The newly released film, TRUST, has thrust this topic front and center into our lives.

As parents we are the first line of defense in protecting our kids offline and online.  Every tool in our arsenal helps when we educate our children to navigate safely and securely.  So, while online predators may not be a subject we want to talk about, it is something we need to be educated on.

As counter-intuitive as it may be, online predators work in the exact same way child molesters work in the real world.  Put simply, the predator engages in a seemingly innocuous process called “grooming.”  A predator will gain your child’s trust and manipulate your child into thinking he is his or her boyfriend – with the constant and focused goal of meeting your child privately where the ‘consensual’ attack occurs.

“TRUST” focuses carefully on this ‘grooming’ process where a predator meets Annie, an unsuspecting teenager, and slowly begins a friendship designed to break down her natural barriers and eventually manipulate and condition her into believing that she is truly in love with this person.

What makes 14-year-old Annie at risk and susceptible to such an attack?  The film offers some telling insight about how the groomer operates.  Annie was experiencing a series of events that put her at risk and, thus, at the mercy of a predator.  Her father was busy at work, her brother whom she had a special bond with was going away to college, her desire to be with the cool girls in school wasn’t happening, and she was desperate to make it onto the volleyball team.  Much like in the real world, Annie was at risk and when she chatted about her life’s struggles online, the predator was there to support her every step of the way.

As in the movie, grooming can start in ways that can seem innocent enough to children, pre-teens and teens, but essential to the predator’s end goal is gaining your child’s trust.

Here is a must read to get a good grasp on grooming.

Child grooming is an ugly and horrible threat both offline and online.  Knowing what it is helps us be the parents we all strive to be and guard against this atrocity.

Learn more about the grooming process with this short video below from Enough Is Enough.