Did you watch last night’s episode of The Bachelorette which ended with an interview with previous season’s bachelorette Emily Maynard? Emily talked openly about her struggles with Bachelor Brad Womack and confirmed the end of their relationship. Amid the tears and knee-jerk moments, Emily repeated quite a few times how much she had gone into the show with the hope that she would find true love forever. She talked of her excitement as the television season had progressed, and how she had gotten the perfect marriage proposal from Brad at the end of the show. But then, Emily and Brad exited stage left from this fabricated stage back into the real world. And that is where all the red flags, as Emily described them, started to show up. Emily even cancelled a move to Austin to live closer to Brad because of these red flags. As much as she wanted it to work, the romance that began on the television stage, ended sadly on the stage of life.

So why are we talking about the stage of life versus the stage of television in a series of blogs about the Internet? “The Bachelorette” often and easily gives us a fabricated sense of reality much like the Internet does. When we go online to find love, we enter with the notion that if we find the perfect love online, we have found the perfect love forever in the real world. Yet, this online stage lacks all the intricate interactions, moments, exchanges, pressures, and experiences that only the real world can give us. In essence, much like in the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows, the Internet love affair is really just the first step in a series of steps that a couple must climb on their journey to the final altar of marriage, an altar that can only be found on the stage of life.

In a world where 122 million singles are logging into dating sites each month, there is no question that many will take their online romances to their local church or temple. There are also many who will be woefully surprised that their online love for some reason failed horribly.

So the next time you log into your favorite dating site, remember you are taking just the first step on a long and hopefully lovely journey that a couple must travel before reaching the altar of love and life.

Until next week’s episode, keep in mind the love of your life is more than a screen name or a credit at the end of a show.

See also Hemu’s blog on The Bachelorette, Online Dating, and Hiring Your Next BF/GF.

Have you caught the last two episodes of The Bachelorette? Ashley has continued to talk about Bentley, and like many of you, I’ve been counting the number of times she says Bentley’s name per episode. Interspersed in all this talk of Bentley, something else very business-like about this process has emerged. Perhaps it is because ABC News 20/20 just aired a special called We Find Them that covered online dating scams, and that I have the honor of serving as one of ABC News 20/20’s “Web Avengers.” We Find Them showcased how innocent women were developing ‘feelings’ for men they had ‘met’ online. These feelings were based on photos, words in the profile, online chats, and sometime even phone calls, but never an in-person encounter. All of which led them to be scammed into giving up money to a complete stranger thousands of miles away that they had never even had a first date with. Turn now to Ashley and the remaining bachelors. All of them are talking more and more about visible signs of interest – signs they can see in their real word encounters. Ashley looks happier, she looks like she’s here in the moment, she acts as if she’s interested. This holds true for the guys as well. They are all past the stage of talking about where they are from, what jobs they have had, and who they have dated in the past. The resumes have been thoroughly reviewed and now all attention is directly focused on the interaction between our Bachelorette and each Bachelor.

So why are we talking about reviewing resumes and these real world interactions? When we set out to hire someone for a job opening, the first thing we do is review their resume. We look at prior education, work experience, special skills, and past successes. The more we look at certain resumes the more we develop a certain ‘feeling’ towards a candidate (the bachelor, the online dating profile). And yet, we will NEVER EVER hire a person based on their resume or profile. We’ll call them on the phone and screen them asking all sorts of questions looking for signs of danger as well as the right fit. Then we will meet them in person and grill them with questions to see how they do under pressure, how much they are into you as you are into them, how personable and likeable they remain as they stick to their well-prepared talking points. Then we will have our colleagues meet them and do the same thing. We will even share a meal or two. We will then go through a similar process with several other candidates. And when we think we have found the right one, we’ll call their prior employers and ask more questions. Finally, we will make a decision. This is the person we want to date and build a relationship with – this is the person we are going to hire. We will call them and hope our final choice says the same in return. Yes, I would like to start a relationship with you, too – yes, I would like the job.

Step back and take a look. Aren’t online and real world dating just like hiring someone at work?

As the Founder and CEO of SSP Blue, an online safety strategy company, I find myself going through this same process each time I choose a partner to work with.

So when you embark on your next dating adventure, think of where you are in the hiring process. It will help balance the emotional with the rational side of love and happiness.

Let’s see what lessons about the business and digital worlds next week’s episode of The Bachelorette brings.

Until then, just remember – sometimes the business world can give you answers about love.

For more info on Hemu’s role as a Web Avenger for ABC News 20/20 new special We Find Them, check out this site.